the moral of the story...

well then. a few more things i have noticed about this delightful city:

1) the lack of fucking pedestrian rights. this, my friends, is a problem. why, you may ask? think of my driving, worsen it a little (due to chain smoking, singing along poorly to american music, and dodging all the fucking mopeds), and then multiply that by 400,000. of course then you must also take out all the crosswalks, and then you are left with the current state of italian pedestrians. maybe not italian pedestrians, because you see they are small and agile and are used to dodging their ways around the various swerving cars, however lame american students such as myself, who is used to having her right-of-way pretty much even jaywalking, it is quite unfortunate. see, italians don't care if they hit a pedestrian, because the car has the right-of-way and italians are already obsessed with population control (nicely done, EU) so it fits in and all. but that just sucks for me because i have to walk to school every morning (crossing about 20 streets, awesome), constantly in fear of my life for 30 minutes (not to mention to then go on and be in fear of my life for another 2 hours during advanced italian class). will expand more later on this bitchass subject.

2) the lack of right-of-way for ambulances. in the united states, you hear an ambulance in the far-off distance, and even if you don't see it, you pull off to the right, so that ill/injured people may in hopes be quickly delivered in one piece to the nearest hospital where they may fixed up and then recover. in italian drivers ed, however, the exact opposite is taught: when you hear an ambulance siren, honk wildly at anyone who deviates from the natural flow of traffic (actually, honk more, since chances are, you are already honking an unnatural amount). so now you may ask what this may have to do with me? well when i am hit by a car and/or moped after failing to remember my lack of pedestrian right-of-way, means that i will probably die in the back of the ambulance that would supposedly be taking me to the hospital, while it tries to fight off the other cars for road space.

3) ookay do you have any idea how difficult it is to find weed in this country? so some random italian guy tells elly and i where to buy weed while he is hitting on us, so we go to santa croce where we attempt to 'find the moroccans', since they are evidently the ones that sell it. and we debate whether or not to sit down on the steps of the church (considering there are threatening non-moroccans catcalling us nearby and we do not feel like getting gangraped tonight, plz, especially BEFORE getting the weed....), so we are awkwardly walking around the square when this guy on a bike comes up to us and is like weed? and we're like FUCK YEAH!!! and then elly all stealthily walks around a lamppost with him and then three minutes and 20 euro later comes back with a huge nugget and is like, man, it's hash and we're like man, that sucks but whatever CUZ WE'S GONNA GET HIGH TONIGHT!!!!! "what was his name" "fuck if i know, he's a fucking drug dealer", but it's chill because i guess we can have like 10 different deals because they're all moroccans and all charge the same price. so we're good and then it lasts two nights and the second night we watch degrassi and eat a lot of pesto so it was actually really incredible. WINNERSSSS!!! so i promised amy, my roommte, that we were going to smoke again because she was really super jealous and almost cried when she found out that i had smoked so we're going to do it out on the balcony, even if mama gianna's home, because we're pretty sure we can still totally get away with it.

4) you can't get away from the fray fucking anywhere. as if the stupid radio station back at home didn't play them enough, you escape how many thousands of miles away and they are still there. THANKS, GLOBALIZATION, BUT I ACTUALLY HATE THE FRAY. SO THANKS FOR NOT GIVING ME INTERNET AT MY HOST-MOTHER'S HOUSE, BUT PLEASE, FORCE ME TO LISTEN TO THE FRAY EVERY FUCKING DAY. and it's worse, because it's way more deceiving, because all the italians sing along and at first you think they speak english because they sound totally normal but no, they actually have no idea what the fuck you're saying and then you realize how great they are at mimicking things. like my mamma gianna's niece can sing rianna's umbrella PERFECTLY, and she sounds like a little star, except then she doesn't speak a WORD of english. it is quite upsetting. so moral of the story: too much american culture on the radio and i hate the fucking fray.


i think that's all for now, will reflect on flashing my tot's to all of pisa and other crazy stories next time, when hopefully i have actually done the reading for class and actually have legit time.

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